Body Image Guest Blog ~ Negative Self Talk

"“I can’t wear this, my belly looks flabby and my bottom sticks out.”……. “I can’t believe I used to think I looked good in this, look at me, I have bulges above my armpits which look like another set of breasts.”…..”Oh my god! That was my favourite dress, I look like a beached whale in this. Thank goodness someone took that photo so I could see myself how others see me”

Can you relate? Can you feel the self talk pulling you down into a 4 hour fashion dilemma? Have you cast aside your favourite clothes simply because you found out your bum really does look big in it?
Should it matter that it does? Should it matter that our body isn’t as “pretty” and “shapely” as that model in the magazine?

I don’t remember when it started for me but I suspect it was around 16 years old. In high school, being the awkward girl who preferred to hide in the library than talk fashion with her friends, I simply didn’t “like” my body shape. I still don’t like it, even though I fit back into my fancy pants which I wore before I had 4 children. I don’t like the bulge in my stomach, I hate my face, my breasts are a joke and don’t even ask me about my thighs or bottom.

And here’s the “joke”.
I dislike so much about myself HOWEVER, when I have no mirrors and don’t get photographed, I dress how I like and feel good!
So good that people comment on how good I look. Isn’t it amazing….

I see none of my “oh my god I’m fat” in photos from 5 years back. I see a young woman with a “normal” body. Just the right shape and maybe even a bit skinny for her height and rather pretty. I wish I saw the same in me now, I wish I wasn’t filled with the negative self talk when I get dressed. I wish I had the guts to look at myself in a mirror, totally nude. I wish I had more days of feeling beautiful within myself to be able to radiate beautiful to the outside. I wish I was more content with the body I was born with and not taking influences from the magazines, television, movies and gossip all around me……

I pray with all my heart that my actions are not going to burden my daughter’s perception of her own body in years to come.

Love yourself, Love your body! Simple as that, yet it is more difficult than standing up in a public place and shouting to someone.

I am slowly gaining the upper hand on my body image issues. I am finally educating myself in the art of understanding my “inner speak”. I am waking up to the fact that all women seem to have the same inner voice and that we are all a party to feeding it. Every quip about muffin tops or giggle in the room about back boobs and flabby arms, they all feed that voice inside a woman telling her she is not beautiful. We all have to band together and eradicate this self perception. For if we don’t, our daughters will have to endure the same agony we are going through."

by Tarja Kelly

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